Johann Hari popularised the phrase, but the idea has deeper roots: addiction thrives in isolation, and recovery lives in connection.
The neuroscience supports this. Human connection triggers oxytocin release, which modulates the dopamine system — the same system hijacked by addictive substances. Genuine social bonds provide natural reward that, over time, can begin to repair the pathways that addiction damaged.
But “connection” in recovery means something specific. It does not mean superficial socialising or performative friendship. It means the experience of being truly known by another person — including the parts you are most ashamed of — and being accepted anyway.
This is why the fellowship matters. This is why sponsorship works. This is why sharing in meetings, terrifying as it can be, is therapeutic. Because every time you reveal something real and are not rejected, the shame that feeds addiction loosens its grip.
In practical terms, this means prioritising genuine connection over comfortable isolation. It means picking up the phone when you do not want to. It means being honest when dishonesty would be easier. And it means allowing yourself to be helped, which for many of us is harder than helping others.
The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. It is connection. Sobriety is just what makes connection possible again.